Pro athlete, caterer, writer, gardener, homemaker, badass adventure climber; Salt Lake City

Imagine a committed lifer in adventure rock climbing, and “The BAG,” 42, is the living definition. She’s led vertical miles of Indian Creek and Yosemite splitters, fiddled RPs on dicey 5.11s in Eldo, whipped on TCUs at the New—climbed everywhere, basically: in 43 countries and counting, on six continents. Crusty but lovable, a racounteur par excellence, Brittany Griffith is a fixture at climbing festivals, where she’ll work an early morning clinic, man a booth all day, then cook for a party of 50, before capping off the night by drinking the old guard under the table.

I was living in Iowa, and a boyfriend asked me if I wanted to go on a road trip. I didn’t even know what a road trip was! But I pretended I did, and that I was interested in climbing. That road trip never really ended.

The BAG nickname? It’s my initials. I think an old boyfriend started calling me that. I was called Muffy in college.

I calculate one PBR per hour of climbing per person. So, for example, a typical weekend of climbing involves six hours of climbing per day per person. The short math of that equation is a case of beer.

I never wanted to be sponsored for the sake of being sponsored. I absolutely wanted to work for whatever I was being given in exchange.

My ideal route would be a 1,200-foot mostly 5.11, with a few pitches of 5.12, and one, maybe two, scary leads thrown in for good measure. I love Zion, Squamish, and Africa.

The sketchiest place I’ve ever climbed? American Fork, Utah, on a Sunday when, after climbing, you can’t buy any beer for a 30-mile radius.

Alpine climbing? No. Dangerous hiking to dangerous 5.8 climbing? What do you think?

I actually got tendonitis from overly aggressive vaccuming. I’ve vaccumed walls, curtains, the vaccum itself, and have actually caught myself vaccuming outside. There’s a picture on our fridge of me vaccuming when I was two. I could basically vaccum before I could walk.

Climbing 5.12 hungover on six continents isn’t cutting edge?