Shune’s Buttress • Cloud Tower • The Flood • Astro Monkey • Astroman • Astro Dog (The Astro-Chapters)

What makes a great climb? Ask a sport climber and you might get told that dynamic movements on overhanging limestone is as good as it gets. The big wall ace will proclaim that thin nailing on expando flakes is where it’s at.  Crusty old trads measure a climb’s merits on how many hundreds of feet of splitter hand and finger cracks there are. Some people will tell you granite is the end all, beat all. Others will expound about sandstone, tuft, limestone, or basalt. The bottom line is that if you ask ten different climbers what the best route is, you will more than likely get ten different answers. In the words of Rodney King, “can’t we all just get along?” Why can’t climbers agree on the best? 

Every other sport has its pinnacle of achievement, the event by which all others are judged within that arena. The Super Bowl, the Tour de France, The Masters, The World Series, the Final Four, etc. As climbers, though, can we really say that there is A CLIMB that defines our achievement? Do we have a Super Bowl? Now certainly climbers can claim to be above all that comparison junk. After all, we just climb to climb, not wanting to be pigeon-holed into other people’s boxes, right?  Yeah, you can tell yourself that all day long, but then why do we all seek out all the 5 star lines at every area we go to?  It’s because we all want to climb the best routes. 

Astroman. Simply saying the name conjures up images of soaring cracks and great position in the mind of just about any climber. If imitation is the greatest form of flattery, then you could easily make the argument that Astroman is the greatest climb in the world.  Why? Look at how often its name is invoked in guidebooks around the world. It seems as though just about every crag bigger than the oak tree in your back yard has an “Astroman of…”  There’s the Astroman of the Gunks, of the Gorge, of South America, of Switzerland, of Australia, and on, and on, and on.  Each area has a flagship climb that inevitably gets compared to its big brother in Yosemite. In the West we have several. Zion has Shune’s Buttress, and Red Rocks has Cloud Tower, both referred to as “the Astroman” of their park.  While Smith Rock, and The Black Canyon have Astro Monkey, and Astro Dog respectively. Flip through a guide to any of these areas and you will be magnetically drawn to each of these routes. Thumb through the magazines and you will see articles and pictures featuring their names.  Why? Because they all promise to be classics based on their comparisons to Astroman.  If you tie into a rope and like to get more than a pitch off the ground, then the Astro’s are your Super Bowl.