Hueco Tanks State Historic Site; El Paso, Texas
Muchos huecos, pocos “boltos” — ¡Muy picante!

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It’s a bit hard to call an R-rated route “classic” — you don’t want people whipping off and breaking their legs and whatnot. But then again, most R-rated routes aren’t the Sea of Holes, the two-pitch jug ladder up an eye-pleasing convex buttress on the Front Side, at Hueco Tanks. Sure, you only get three bolts on the first pitch and four on the second (and a whiff of trad pro), but if you keep a steady head, the eponymous holes — hand-swallower, smooth-lipped huecos — practically won’t let you fall.
Get this: the first ascent, by Mike Head circa late 1970s, was an onsight free solo. Beginning in 1975, Head, with a crew of fellow, low-key Hueco disciples, had the Park to himself, though the rangers weren’t keen on reckless free-handin’, bolted or otherwise. So Head and crew went into stealth mode, gunning big runouts or sometimes just ambling ropeless up the featured synenite porphyry. And while many Front Side routes were re-equipped with modern hardware beginning in 1989, these are not sport climbs — they’re face-tech rope-stretchers that demand solidity and commitment at the grades.

The alluring, aptly named Sea of Holes stands tall among the other Front Side 5.10s. Ratchet the helmet down and Martha Stewart the draws for pitch one, which exacts its R with a 45-foot runout (cams possible) on 5.8/5.9 terrain to bolt one — ¡Picante! — followed by perfect jug hauling past two more clips to the bolted belay, 130 feet up. Pitch two, the crux, is safer: four bolts and steepening-face vagabondage lead to pumpy moves on flat edges, where the huecos run out. Place trad pro on easier ground above, and then build an anchor on the summit. You can descend via stair-stepping slabs to the east and then north, toward Laguna Prieta.

¿Tienes hambre para mas huecos? (“Hungry for more huecos?”) Detour to the Ghetto Simulator (V3), on the south flanks of North Mountain, or re-rack for similar Front Side classics like Malice in Bucketland (5.10a), Fox Trot (also 5.10a), or Window Pain (5.10b/c). Still hungry? Set to, counting all the huecos in Hueco Tanks; first one to guess correctly wins a Crazy Straw, lifetime supply of Zyprexa, and a free backrub from the editors at Climbing.