5 Realities of Climbing Parents

As part of my research, I emailed a questionnaire about climbing and parenting to 45 climbing pals, as well as to several climbing groups I found through the Web (including the Facebook site). Here are five key points that emerged.

1. It’s harder for women than men to be climbing parents. Mothers are more likely than fathers to have lower tolerance for risk, to cut back on how much (and how hard) they climb, and to have less time to climb. Men, for their part, were more likely to say they didn’t change anything about their climbing after becoming parents.

2. Time is a major factor. Lack of time defines any parent’s life, but it’s intensified by climbing’s time demands. Moreover, it’s hard to share climbing time with young children — at least happily for the children, if we’re being honest with ourselves about just how miserable/boring the crag environment can be for kids.

3. Climbing parents are in a certain amount of denial. Not one parent surveyed reported taking unwarranted risks or having found himself/herself in a hairy climbing situation about which he/she wouldn’t tell the spouse. Really? Maybe climbers who become parents tend to be the more responsible types, maybe the respondents didn’t give truthful replies, or maybe we don’t want to be honest with ourselves about climbing’s truly risky nature. A final possibility is that because so much in climbing is internalized, something risky for one climbing parent could feel perfectly reasonable for another.

4. Some of us climb more safely after becoming parents. But it’s not because we suddenly decide to climb lower grades, wear helmets, or back up rappels. Instead, we develop more self-awareness, maturity, and better understanding of why we climb, which helps us stay honest in risky situations.

5. No pattern emerged regarding whether climbing parents want their children to climb. Some said absolutely yes (I want to share climbing with them…I don’t want them to miss what I’ve experienced ), some said no (I hope not…too risky) , and some hedged. Interestingly, this held equally true among moms and dads, and professional and recreational climbers, including parents known for bold, runout ascents.

—SS