Get Shorty - The 5 best miniature sport routes in America

New Mexibolts — 6 Short Subjects from the Land of (Micro) Enchantment
“I’ve never seen a state with such a beautiful landscape that offers such inhospitable, hateful rock,” says the New Mexico native Timy Fairfield. “Our environment is comprised of grumpy trad climbs; short, heinous, bouter boulder-problem routes; choss; and sharp-ass holds.” While Fairfield might be exaggerating, it is true that, of all the states in the Union, New Mexico might have the highest proliferation of micro limestone and volcanic crags. Here, then, is your New Mexiticklist, the six crankiest bolted boulder problems in the Land of (Dis) Enchantment.

1. Ugly Duckling (5.9), Ugly Duckling Boulder, Datil (Enchanted Tower): The 20-foot plumb line up a nuggetino of welded tuff, down and left of the Tower proper. One caveat: the crux is the first move, over the undercut lip. A 5.8 and 5.9+ adjacent mean you can get in 60 whole feet of climbing.

2. Just Another Pretty Face (Variation) (5.10d), El Rito: Three bolts carry you up this south-facing, pretty red/orange wall of volcanic conglomerate. Continuous for all 18 of its feet, and a tasty tapa for the four- and five-bolt “endurance” offerings uphill on the Beer Block.

3. Lights Out (5.12a/b), Power Wall, New Canyon: Before hanger rustlers “harvested” the diminutive New Canyon, this fine 25-foot power-endurance line had four bolts. Crimp, crimp, crimp, crimp, crimp. Any questions?

4. Finishing Touch (5.12b/c), Box Canyon, Socorro: This Bertrand Gramont route has been bouldered — by Fairfield. If you lead this proud little leaning, overhanging shield of rock, be aware that the two clips are almost as hard as the moves. Maybe best to think of this as tall, sharp V5.

5. Dragonslayer (5.13b), 45-Degree Boulder, the Dungeon, Los Alamos: Powerful, tech climbing on overhanging basalt. Pre-clip bolt two, bust a V7/8, and keep your wits about you for the 5.11 upper slab. Thirty feet o’ lovin’, with the business in the first 15. Fairfield’s similar — but harder — Honky Serial Killer, a 5.14a, is just right.

6. Mak Daddy (5.13d), Alcohol Wall, Socorro: One bolt of 5.7 leads to a crux bulge (six moves, at V10), to a no-hands rest, to 5.11a to the chains. Six bolts, 35 feet; unrepeated Fairfield route.

It has been years since Matt Samet, Editor-in-Chief at Climbing, sunk metal into anything shorter than 25 feet.