Inside I had the gut feeling that I’d need to climbing about 9a (14d) on bolts and have a solid 4 or 5 month run of training full time to have a chance. A wet summer/autumn or working hard, saving hard and jumping on cheap flights to Spanish 9as was exactly what I needed. If I’d tried it last summer, I just would have been completely shut down. 

I’m writing this on the train through England right now, on my way to the last of my winter lectures at the famous Oxford University tomorrow. When I go home on Saturday, I’m starting that training stint with enough saved for a few months as a ‘proper’ pro. So hopefully this won’t be too much of a ‘pretending to be pro blog’ I’ll keep you posted how I get on. 

For sure I’m excited, but a little scared too. It’s not so much the prospect of trying such a hard route that scares me, it’s more myself that I’m scared about! Trying really massive projects that take me ages and feel really impossible most of the time seems to be in my bones. Sometimes I hate it. But really I love it…Do you know what I mean? 

For sure I’m in my element when I can’t do a route but I’ve decided I’m going to, no matter what. I’ll admit that I have a good talent for dealing with this process. The talent is called being a stubborn bastard. And for sure being so utterly focused and driven to master a level of performance is one of the most satisfying things you can imagine. But it can also be a little dangerous. From one perspective you can see it as focused drive and something to admire. From another you could equally see it as unbalanced and inevitably a bit self absorbed.