Salt Lake City, Utah

The dime was too small to edge, too sharp to smear, so I smedged it with my foot. I could feel the razor lip slice into the rubber sole, a fishhook mocking the new technology of sticky rubber. My left hand reached behind a water-thin flake of white quartz, the pinky knuckle locked into place. I pulled on the miserable jam as my other foot tap-tapped its way up the opposing wall until finding a smedge of it’s own. Stemmed wide, I looked down between my legs where the chalked path disappeared under a roof, but the valley view opened for miles. A quick intake of breath behind me, there was remembrance that I’m not alone. 

The audience of two watching from a ledge is modern-day legends, but their uncomfortable stares are better suited on newbie tourists fresh from the RV lounge. Instinct kicks in and I flip them the bird. A loud roar of laughter erupts from both with middle-finger salutes back to match. 

Two days earlier I landed in Salt Lake City, dazed and confused after three hours of sitting on a plane next to a wide load whose breath ached of garlic and sweaty body reeked with three gallons of Polo. Walking in a stupor toward the baggage claim, trying to shake my sinuses clean from the sensory overload, I heard a clipped military voice holler out, “yo, Rock Star!” Mike Anderson and his lovely wife, both Air Force professionals, were crisp, clean, and ready for anything, including my vapid stare and inability to operate basic machinery as I looked to my cell phone and realized that my daughter had once again changed everything on it, including the ability to dial. Mike got the rental car. 

Legendary mountaineer, Jeff Lowe has been working on a climbing park in the beautiful suburb of Ogden, Utah. To that end, his intent is to put up the world’s first free-standing refrigerated HollowGraphic Ice Tower, a fantastic wall originally designed for the ESPN Winter X Games. He’s got a grant, but what he needs is a little more money and a lot more recognition to finish the job. Toward both, Jeff hosted the first annual Climbfest with slide shows from Ron Olevsky (big wall aid master), Mike Anderson (big wall free climbing God), and myself (game-show host). There were also films by Jeff and his brother Greg, and he topped the event off with a dinner and a presentation from “Big Wall” Pete Takeda regarding his latest book, “Eye at the Top of the World.” Typical to these types of events, getting climbers to function with any sort of timeline is like herding cats, but Jeff did an amazing job no matter how hard I tried to screw it up.