My ambition outweighed other factors at play on that trip. My successes were in the form of failures... unfinished objectives, unfinished boulder problems, failed redpoint attempts at sport routes, and epiphanies about my life and the way I actually wanted to live it. But even with all of the things I wasn't able to do during that trip, I still had fun with my friends, learned more skills to add to my toolkit, and my list of "projects" to come back to grew longer.

Now, as my fourth year as a climber gets into full swing, I can feel a huge shift. I've been training for climbing specifically for the last year, and I am feeling the benefits in a big way, physically and mentally. I've made changes to my work and lifestyle, to accommodate climbing being a bigger part of my world. I'm no longer just a reliable follower on routes. I'm learning how to be a competent leader. About half the time, I'm climbing with partners more experienced than I am; about half the time, I find myself the more experienced climber in the party. I'm doing more of the trip planning and less of the "going along," I'm carrying my weight more as a climbing partner, with the increased stress and pressure that goes along with it. But most satisfying of all, I'm revisiting those old projects, and places, where I have history.

A few weeks ago I took a driving trip to Red Rock with a new partner. I'd been obsessing about a bouldering problem there ever since my first trip... I spent a couple of post-climbing-day-evenings throwing myself at that problem to no avail... I could make a few moves on it, but I didn't have the strength to put the moves together. I tore up my hands, I poked holes in my thumbs, and I bruised my butt falling off the sit start. Now, a little over a year later I was jonesing to get back on that problem. We headed for the Kraft boulders one evening and like a bloodhound sniffing out a scent trail, my feet took me directly to that fateful boulder.

I dropped my bouldering pad, and started calmly changing shoes, chalking up, and psyching myself up for a few good attempts on the problem. With my climbing partner spotting, I set myself up on the start holds. With the first move, I felt strong. Where before, I had to make a series of small moves on intermediates, this time I had the strength to skip the intermediates and just throw for the next hold. I moved confidently through the problem, and topped out almost disappointed that it was so easy. But my disappointment was balanced with excitement over how different my body felt doing that problem. I knew at that moment, that I am a much different climber now than I used to be.