Climbing
TALL TALES
The Climbing Personality and Proficiency Exam for Potential Partners

Let’s Begin.
You have 30 minutes. (Simply because that’s really the longest amount of time that a tester could spend on this without the author experiencing any kind of guilt). Again, just write down a number from 1-10 (or circle a number if you're printing this page) that best describes you based on the questions below.

 

Question 1. The frequency with which you drive your partner and yourself to the crag:
I’m sick of these mooches (1) Or My VW Van isn’t running, again (10).
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10

  
Question 2. Level of comfort when falling:
I scream and grab for the rope (1) Or I bought the ticket, now I'm taking the ride (10).
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10

 
Question 3. Climbing longevity:
I have the latest and greatest (1) Or I have a perfectly functional swami belt, hobnail boots, a rack of pitons, and a hemp rope (10).
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10

Question 4. Tendency to use chalk:
Let me coat my arms to the elbow every 30 seconds and hang here while I tick this huge jug (1) Or I prefer the au natural experience, chalk looks bad on the rock and just dries my skin out (10).

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10

Question 5. Brass:
I sketch out and shake uncontrolably four feet above a bolt (1) Or I feel comfortable, off the couch, onsighting miles above above bad gear, on loose rock in the rain, or snow (10)...
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10

Question 6. Level of supportiveness:
Come on man, you got this. Looking good man! (1) Or That gear doesn't look so good. I wouldn't fall man... That'll be a nasty whip. Hey, Are you back clipped? Nope, my bad(10).  
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10

 
Question 7. History of previous partners:
I get around with many (1) Or I had the same partner for… 20 years? Until arthritis made it “too painful” for him to climb (10).
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10

 
Question 8. Ethics (remember to remain calm):
That line looks KILLER, let’s rap bolt it! (1) Or Ground up, on gear, or don’t climb it (10).
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10

Question 9. Proudest send:
That 5.12 endurofest at The Red (1) Or That scenic arête with the amazing view that we climbed during peak foliage (10).
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10

Question 10. At the end of a long day of climbing I like to:
Keep rampin' it up with some sick climbing vids set to drum and bass (1) OR kick back peacefully around the campfire with a few cold ones (10).
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10

Stop!
Put pencils down. Add answers up, record them and read on.



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