Dave Graham - Pro Blog 1

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Welcome! Bienvenue! Willkommen!

August 30, 2006The views are inspiring, but the lake water is freezing. Snow has been falling, and if one can actually see through the passing clouds, the flickering images of extreme skiers and mountain goats take form, bombing down couloirs ensemble. It’s impossible to see anything when it’s raining though; these apparitions of winter are only visible when the sun is motivated to make its presence. I am going outside again, and as usual I’m excited.

All I can say is it reminds me of my childhood. If the weather is nice, first thought upon leaving the house here is always the same. God damn its cold and it smells GOOD. I like this taste of autumn, and I like it more since its August. Life is always full of surprises. Early falls aren’t usually expected in my book. Today I am going to drive to a beautiful valley, after I am finished writing. I hope I get there, as it’s the valley that is helping me a lot these days. I don’t write much, so it may take me forever to finish, I am not a pro at articulating my thoughts...passing memories and fleeting thoughts, how do you actually touch them? I like the challenge, and I hate it. I have to get my hands dirty.

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Where am I?Valais...

Where am I Going?To look for boulders of course, I don’t know exactly where, but in some valley for sure.

Why are you here?Because of this stupid injury. Sometimes I end up places at random, things just take me there. Some kind of vague notion of what to do. I ended up in here for many reasons. I came from Southern France, I came from Germany, I came from Japan, I came from Maine, I came from Colorado, Salt Lake City, Las Vegas, Los Angeles, Santa Barbara, St. George, Moab, Newport Beach, Hueco Tanks...

What was your plan Dave?...Ummmm...I don’t know...I always wish I had a plan...

What is it?They don’t know!

How did it happen? Overuse?Maybe…

Trying to hard?Is there such a thing...

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What will you do? I don’t know and please stop asking stupid questions, I can’t answer that one.

It’s not stupid to ask questions. |I was just hurt all of the sudden.

Where? Hueco Tanks...

Why?

How?

What did you do?

What will you do?I don’t know. Explore!

That’s Lame, do something productive!!!!It’s not stupid to explore. It’s not stupid to ask questions right? It’s not stupid to be yourself. Except in the U.S.A. things are different.

What where you doing?I was hurt...not much. I tried surfing...

Who would have guessed...Yeah...

Do you think it was over-use? Maybe...

What are you going to do?I don’t know...see some doctors...I want to look for boulders...

You need Health Insurance?Me? Yeah But I can’t afford it.

Fuck the System, Right?I don’t think so.

Hmm...I went to Lausanne. Like a month ago. It’s only an hour drive from Martigny, where I have been staying. I needed help. I looked towards people, and I looked towards machines. No answers, just words and pictures. I’m In the MRI again. What a cool machine... I wonder how it works?

“Uhhh, Doo not moove jeune homme…”

I love its song, I remember the lyrics---BERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR-DIN-DIN-DIN-DIN-DE-DE-DE-DE-DE-DE-BERRRRRRRRRRRRR BERRRRRRRRRRR

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I want to go climbing.

DAAAN DAAAAN DIN-DIN-DIN-DIN- DE-DE-DE-DE- DE-DE BERRRRRRRR RRRRRRRR- DIN-DIN-DIN-DIN-DE-DE- DE-DE-DE-DE-BERRRRR RRRRRRRR BERRRRRRRR RRR

It gets old, and it’s awfully loud, and for Christ’s sake I want to go climbing!!!!

I want to go climbing. But I’m hurt.

What is it?They don’t know!

How did it happen? Overuse?Maybe…

Trying to hard?Is there such a thing...

What will you do? I don’t know and please stop asking stupid questions, I can’t answer that one.

It’s not stupid to ask questions. |I was just hurt all of the sudden.

Where? Hueco Tanks...

Why?

How?

What did you do?

What will you do?I don’t know. Explore!

That’s Lame, do something productive!!!!It’s not stupid to explore. It’s not stupid to ask questions right? It’s not stupid to be yourself. Except in the U.S.A. things are different.

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What?It’s not “cool” to be so upset.

Why don’t you get that? What!?

Be cool, don’t you get it?What!?

There is nothing in the world that should bother you that much, why don’t you get it?Yeah. I get it. Thank God there are airplanes right. Fuck this. I am buying a ticket.

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Go with the flow! What’s your problem? It’s not such a big deal is it? Maybe you need to eat healthier! Stop smoking, It’s the tobacco! Maybe you created it with your mind. That’s Life Dave! Deal with it! C’est comme ca La Vie. My good lord...it’s not your problem! Its mine!! I will deal with it! I asked none of you for your opinion!

We don’t care Dave. It will be good for you!!! We know more about you then you know about you.No.

Stop being so negative!

Just go with the flow!

Chill!

Being upset isn’t normal.

Damn, you look miserable!

Isn’t it nice to have a vacation?What!?

Why do always talk about your hand!

Let it go!

Let it go!

It’s not a big deal! We are telling you this! Just accept!Then I’m running. Please let me be...I will go to the valley, maybe I will find something, like boulders, in the mountains, I want them…get me there...maybe I will be inspired...maybe it will fix me...

Fine. Go.I’m gone.

So where have you been? It’s been a while? What about the injury?It’s incredible what happened. After four months of resting, no change with the pain, not knowing a thing, it just passes like it came. It lingers, but it doesn’t prevent, it limits, yet it doesn’t ruin, it creates. Its still there but it coexists. They say they saw a cyst in the MRI. They call the Ganglion formation unexplainable. They try to make some sense, but they can’t. They wanted to cut, and they didn’t. You’re god damn right.

Where are you now? Still in Valais...

Where are you going?Bouldering! On the sickest, most inspiring boulders I have found in years!

How did you find them? I Looked. Something like a constellation prize for being injured?

I doubt that. I was joking. Doubt what you want! Those boulders brought me an incredible mind state. Coincidences like that are too precious to question.

So how do you feel?I love climbing,

I love imagination,

I love motivation,

I love inspiration,

I love the feeling of passion.

I am glad I never let go of anything I held as precious. I am not giving up being passionate about life. Fuck acceptance. Freedom is attainable.

Crazy.Its been the most inspiring thing that happened since I first smelled cold fresh air, when I was a little kid. I love that smell of cold fall air so much...

—Dave Graham