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Climbing Caption Contest Winner and Honorable Mentions (Summer 2020 Edition)

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Jordan Peterson

@elieganz is the winner of our this issue’s Caption Contest, which we’re rolling out each issue with hilarious cartoons from Jordan Peterson (@jordankpeterson_)—stay tuned to Climbing’s social channels for more. For his caption, @elieganz wins a 70m 9.6 Siurana rope and rope bag from Fixe Hardware.

Here were our runners-up:

  • “Don’t even think about making a move on me.” @dave_montgomery
  • “Well, that’s a first… we finished at the same time.” @justinwouldnever

  • “Oh, so your fear of commitment doesn’t apply to climbing sends…..” @omanda_patricia

  • “If you’re up here too, who’s spotting?” @t.nield91

  • “I just tested positive for coronavirus.” @kris_kemp

  • “Feel that, Jerry? That’s the absence of a ring on my finger.” @itssjamieee

  • “Okay, I’ve had enough of your tall-guy beta.” @remyhenderson

  • “Ya know, relationships are aid.” @gagegillespie

  • “Oh, so now you want to be in a supportive relationship?” @the_1_and_only_apple

  • “I slept with your dad.”  @daniellajmotaei

  • “This is not what I meant when I suggested couples therapy…” @ypsiotter

  • “Do you take this woman to be you climbing partner? In Eldo, or Yosemite, in climbing gyms and hangboards. Will you carry the rack and rope to the crag? Will you lead all the scary pitches? Belaying no others for as long as you both shall live?  And do you take this man to be your climbing partner? Will you always give him soft catches and never let go of the brake strand? Will you always stroke his ego and compliment him on his gear placements? Will you do all this for as long as you both shall live? I know pronounce you climbing partners. You may chalk up.”  @hylton.jet

  • “My friends told me you were too clingy.” @dadvillecomedy

  • “Did you see Free Solo?” @danielguydude

  • “You dabbed….” @appalachianhero

  • “So I ran into your ex the other day…” @joeclimbs19

  • “I’m pregnant.” @dustinheater

  • “Karen from the front desk said 5G causes coronavirus. Crappy footwork is really the least of your worries.” @beta_shmeta

  • “Date a climber,” they said. “They’re so independent,” they said. “You’ll have plenty of time to work on yourself,” they said. @ryanarison

  • “You know, Jason, I really thought we’d made a breakthrough when you suggested we work on our problems together.” chrottos

  • “Your profile said you were 5.10!” @the_lumberbeard

  • “I think this is what our therapist referred to as co-dependence.” @amercado497

  • “I think we should climb with other people.” @the_eric_swanson