Unsent: 10 New Slang Terms for Climbing Gear

Unsent /un-sent/ 1. To have failed so badly on a route you had previously climbed that you negate your redpoint. 2. A humor column.

“Climbers speak their own language,” sighed my mom. She had just picked up my latest copy of Climbing and found it impenetrable. We go through this every month. It’s true, our sport has a lot of slang. “I picked up a couple gobies whipping on my proj,” sounds like nonsense to the general population. But there’s a serious lack of slang when it comes to climbing gear. In an effort to make our sport even less accessible, I’ve devised the 10 terms below. Add them to your vocabulary so you can be at the cutting edge of climber-speak. 

1. Trust Fall

(Assisted-Braking Belay Device)

Example: “Just go for it and take the whip, Carl! The trust fall will catch you.”

2. Life Umbrella

(Spring-Loaded Camming Device)

Example: “Open a #2 life umbrella in the crack before the crux. This route is known to rain climbers.”

3. Pants Eaters

(Crampons)

Example: “We had a great weekend in Ouray, and my pants eaters only chomped three new holes in my $400 ’pon magnets.”

4. ’Pon Magnets

(Expensive Ice Climbing Pants)

Example: See above.

5. Trampoline

(Climbing Rope)

Example: “My sport proj slapped me around today. I spent the entire session bouncing on the trampoline.”

6. Hand Shoes

(Crack Gloves)

Example: “I got tired of making tape gloves, so I finally bit the bullet and bought a pair of hand shoes for the Creek.”

7. Big Balls

(Micro Nuts)

Example: “That pitch only takes small gear so bring big balls.”

8. ’Gram Gun

(GoPro Camera)

Example: “Shoes tied, chalkbag on, ’gram gun locked and loaded. Time for the Third Flatiron. YOLO FREE SOLO!”

9. Finger Flour

(Chalk)

Example: “Wouldn’t it be adorable if we called climbing chalk finger flour instead of making a trite cocaine joke, Daniel?”

10. Bed

(Crashpad)

Example: “Wipe off your shoes before you get on that problem. Don’t get my bed all muddy. I’ve been sleeping on it since Michelle moved out.”